I first and foremost apologize for being away so long. Since the move my mother and I have been staying with my grandmother. We can’t stay for too long because they will go up on her lease and we – my grandmother nor her roommates can afford that.
So my mother and I have been looking for Low Income Housing – separately. A few days before our eviction and the week of our second extension, my mother went back to court. I didn’t know how high her hopes were for the judge to change his decision.
He didn’t. The weight of his gavel was too much for my mother to bear. She ultimately winded up in the psychiatric ward for a few days. She has been out of the hospital besides a recent bout with high blood pressure that caused her to spend the night. She is doing okay. Okay for my mother that is.
It was up to me to find a storage space and find a shelter for me to stay at – because I didn’t know how long my mother would be in the hospital. This woman still had the nerve to arrange things from the psychiatric ward and managed to get out in a decent time to have everything moved before they locked the door with our things inside. To make a long story short she chose the exact same storage space I chose at the same price.
I…am okay. Before the talk of eviction I was elected to be chairperson for the 126th anniversary of First Baptist Church of Nutley. (That’s my church.) I have never done this before nor have I been placed in a leadership position that was responsible for such a big event. There have been fundraisers, there will be a luncheon, singing and presentations. I am not great at making announcements for these things. But I believe me and my committee will pull it off.
I am learning to be patient. All of the women in my committee have families and other important obligations that make it a challenge for them to meet in person. So we have conference calls. It’s difficult for me to decipher when a person is taking a pause between sentences versus knowing when a statement is completed. Women also are quick to jump in on a hot topic so if you don’t get there first you are out of luck. And even then there are few sentences that avoid collision with another madame’s words.
So I often wind up intervening too soon. I often feel as if my comments are overlooked because I am the youngest one in the group. Trying to construct a bridge between “okay, I, the leader decides…” and “let’s take a vote” has not been an easy task. Women do like to talk a lot and are more likely to lose focus which has been a thorn in my side being a person that likes to get to the point.
The pluses – these women are experienced in running and hosting events. They know about order and have been around long enough to know procedures about deposits, the order of a program and fundraising. Which I knew nothing about; their input is priceless. But I as a leader have to be strong enough to commit to a decision and see it through. It is also my responsibility to make sure my team can run without me and follow up on things.
All in all, I am very happy that I am surrounded by resourceful, wise women who have been four helpful and invaluable parts of the team.
I have started working as substitute teacher again and I feel as if I am on better ground. Some of the kids are still very disrespectful but they know when I am serious and I feel are less likely to try me. Or after I send them out they understand that much. One of the other staff had to come in to talk to a class I had; after which they settled down.
I would love to be seen as the fun substitute and teach them things and really connect with them. But respect and adhering to the rules are the first order of business. I completely understand why I get treated the way I do because I treated subs that way when I was in school. The difference is I won’t stand for it; no matter how young I look.
I worked a show. Gyroscope Radio has been on hiatus for the month of August. But tonight I engineered for the show HipHop4sport. I had a few hiccups. Nothing I could not fix on my own. Though it was still very embarrassing to mess up on the show I have desired to work on since I started to the gig.
So far I have the “okay go” to come back next week. Let’s see if they tell me to go when I come back next week.