Getting ready for church this morning, I recalled an old friend whose personality and friendly disposition shone like the sun. All those around and whoever she came into contact with were starved for warmer weather.
I remembered thinking,
“This used to be me.”
People who often came into contact with me thought I was fun, definitely funny and my outrageous- ness earned me the consistent title of “crazy.” But looking at some of my friends and other people – who seem to exude these friendly characteristics naturally – I find that I am no longer them.
My crowd of supporters from my past has long since died down. I also find, though I may want to, I don’t as readily start conversations with strangers as I used to. Some experiences have molded me to be less trusting.The former is also due to my lack of enthusiasm for leaving my bed in the morning.
Without these characteristics [and others] I was left wondering,
“Who am I?”
Being pleasant isn’t always such a task – only when I don’t feel like it. This is the exact reason for my life long exercise. Even though there are some days that I just don’t want to be bothered, I have grown to realize I must suck it up and put my best face forward.
Part of a maturity task I have given myself is when I wake in the morning, I approach everyday as a new day. I am all smiles; all is forgiven, I am happy to see strangers, coworkers and colleagues. I will be pleasant and I will be kind.
What do I like to do?
I love to smile. Following a mistake, I make efforts to keep my attitude and demeanor positive.
A natural ability I have is to encourage people; I have been told this but haven’t realized it until sort of recently.
I like being around people; there are definitely moments I need to myself but I love a small intimate crowd. I love going out with the butterfly net of possibility and catching new experiences. Being in the house for long periods of time is not my thing.
I love to make people smile and laugh. That flesh and blood infiltrated muscle beneath my chest grows three sizes bigger when I make someone laugh or smile. I love doing that the most. But the pieces aforementioned aren’t enough to complete the puzzle.
At the moment I am still gathering the pieces.